Day 1.

Recently I've been debating about the course of my blog. What direction should I take this? Is this an occasional witty incident outlet or a daily journey of one Mom's slow, but eventual, trip to crazy town? I think a daily Bridget Jones style avenue is more up my alley. My secret desire was to always be a writer and even though I'm obviously not, this allows me to pretend I am. Sometimes pretending gets me through the day. Pretending I love hearing the same song sung to me a million times, pretending that my house is quiet, pretending I'm not completely exhausted and I would love to spend quality time with my husband, pretending the dog licking my feet is a pedicure. I pretend a lot. It's a coping mechanism.

So here we are February 1st (I think, I'm a little tired) ready to embark on my first day of a one year daily commitment to chronicle every aspect of my life. From refraining to sell Rusty to maybe eventually getting this working Mom thing down, I'm enforcing blog time.

So it began:
Today was productive and exhausting at the same time. I keep telling myself that once I get into a "groove" this will get easier but that doesn't seem to be happening. Shelby is so upset that I leave for work everyday she wont let me put her down when I get home. I stayed on top of all of my laundry 1 week and now I seem to have jinxed myself from a repeat. I have no idea how many hours I get of sleep a night but I know it isn't enough. Every night I lay down promising myself I'll get up and exercise in the morning only to discover I slept in again and I have 25 minutes to get 5 kids ready, 4 to school, and myself to work all while somehow looking presentable. I have no idea what's on TV and no time to read my trashy magazines to catch up on all the gossip. I really must know who the new Real Housewife is and how many nannies that b**** has.

Wake, shower, feed and dress kids, run to a meeting, run to another meeting, answer 5 emails, have another meeting, rush to school to help volunteer on some capacity, call vendor to find out where product is, pick up all kids, Try to resist urge to drop them all back off, take kids to activities, go to grocery store, say goodbye to husband as he leaves for school, try not to resent husband leaving, fix dinner, clean up dinner, bathe Shelby, homework with Colby, answer work emails, bathe all kids, read and put kids to bed, my homework, blog, and finally bed just in time to start all over again in the morning. Hope to wake up and exercise...

That's day 1...

Soybeans are not conversation pieces...

I have to be perfectly honest with you. My number one "obstacle" in my life(professional/personal) is my genuine disdain for most people. I know that comes across as completely awful, however in my defense lot's of people are annoying. It's not my fault if I acknowledge that.

In my volunteer life I have manuevered through quite smoothly. I am the consumate "switzerland". I am able to avoid most unpleasant conundrums and stay above petty drama. In fact I like most people I volunteer with, shockingly.

In my new work life I do not feel the same. I had to have a meeting with a man today that not only is obviously very self concious of his turkey gobbler neck that he feels the need to contantly grope it but he talks incessantly about nothing. I am not good at long conversations about sweatshirts or where people vacation. At one point in our small talk hole of darkness I found myself relating that soybeans are patented and how that has influenced their genetic makeup. As the story was leaving my mouth I found myself shouting from within "What are you talking about? Shove more food into your mouth to prevent stupid from leaving it!".

I guess my next step in my "working gal" life is to become even better at pretending to not want to slowly suffocate my vendor. On a simlar note I do not think I should describe myself as a "working gal" it feels much more Michelle Pfieffer in the Fabulous Baker Brothers than Melanie Griffiths in Working girl. I'm just saying...